infantilisation of arab women
imperialism, veil politics, and muslim women bodies used to spread war propaganda
A surge of long-form articles and video essays on the infantilisation of women have taken the internet by a storm, particularly procured by Sabrina Carpenter's questionable performance at her latest show. Since my two cents on the matter is nothing new to the current discourse, I thought to myself what could be more fun than discussing the infantilisation of Arab / Muslim women and antagonising everyone on a Sunday evening.
On being born to be a taboo and a personal narrative on the matter.
My first year abroad was nothing short of interesting. I was in the UK, a liberal country, and yet I found myself surrounded by conservative Arab men. Whether they themselves were the party or the stay-at-home type, there remained a common trend: no matter what they do, a women must uphold societal and cultural values. And this is how I spent my first year abroad dealing with men who shoved their ideologies onto me, shaming me for my different values, and sneaking in snarky comments when an opportunity freed up.
Within a crowd, I was dissected and discussed in the least respectable manner and in private, I was approached with failed embarrassing attempts of flirt. And then it hit me. For a society that is big on taboo, I was being treated as one. Something you privately enjoy whilst you publicly condemn. As were most Arab women, whether they were liberal or conservative, there was no escape from the jurisdiction of an Arab man.
It was a strange year to say the least. I remember sitting down on a bench, no later than dinner time, and the local crazy came up to me screaming “where is your hijab” and “you shouldn't be out past sundown, slut.” In. The. UK. Couldn't tell you who he was, but I came from a long line of contentious women and I was adamant to fight this backlash with more reasons to make these men angry.
And I was praised. I was praised by the West if I was out at 3 am, if I did not dress conservatively, and if I held liberal values. I then grew a bit more and I was less concerned with partying, dressing and doing my makeup a certain way. Which strangely was met with tense under the knowledge of being a muslim woman. Perhaps if I were any other religion, I would have been seen as enlightened and not conforming to my oppression. I once befriended a woman who told me “the only thing I know about Islam is that is oppresses women and forces them to wear a hijab.” For context, she said this to me knowing 1. I am a muslim woman and 2. I don't wear a hijab. It was almost as though choosing not to engage with Western values automatically caged me back to a “tyrannised muslim in need of Western saving”.
Swaying from east to west and west to east, women are inherently denied agency and the ability to dictate for themselves whom they are, walking a fine line between being portrayed as oppressed or lacks morale. One wrong move and you're scrutinised by either side. The Western gaze and the Eastern gaze confine women within their boundaries of portrayal, systemically infantilising these women as those in need of salvation or protection, never adults capable of autonomy, always children in need of guidance.
The (wrongful) disposition of women in Islam almost always formed the West's definition of an Islamic society. The struggle to get control of Arab / muslim women is nothing new. West's promise to bring civilisation and liberation to “backward uncivilised” societies was a constant justification to the need of imperialism.
That very definition of was used to aid Europe in the creation of the “Middle East”, a region which did not need to exist under any language nor geographical border, but was vital to French and British colonial planners who divided and destabilised the region. Within SWANA, France took control of Syria, Lebanon, Morroco, Algeria, Tunisia. Britain took control of Palestine, Egypt, and Jordan.
Algeria was possible the worst treated country, with women being the centre of colonial oppression. And Algeria's independence cannot be spoken of without mentioning Algerian women; honorary mentions to Zohra Drif, Samia Lakhdari, and Djamila Bouhired, three of many women referred to as the mujahidat, who left their homes, with or without their family's acceptance, for their own and their country's resistance.
The 132-year long occupation saw French colonialist politically weaponise the bodies of Algerian women as a front between French and Algerian men. Their systemic r*pe was to destabilise the social order of Algerian society, which valued women’s honour and virginity; that was to be protected and preserved by Algerian men. The French's agenda was to also unveil and traumatise Algerian women into embracing a French lifestyle. Which of course, only brought them closer to their religion and culture. The sexual violence's aim was to humiliate and colonise the whole of the population, men and women; however Algerian women suffered the most. They faced colonial and patriarchal oppression in the name of their freedom and rights because they were infantilised by the West as those with no volition and in need for reformation.
France continues to control muslim women to date by placing anti-hijab policies under the guise of liberation, completely missing the point that true liberation comes from authentic choice and not patriarch dictation. That muslim women do not need anyone to make decisions on their behalf nor do they need anyone to tell them what's liberating for them.
As for Britain's conquest of Egypt, it can be perfectly summarised with the words of Lord Cromer, Egypt's British counsel general throughout the occupation:
“The position of women in Egypt, and Mohammedan countries generally, is … a fatal obstacle to the attainment of that elevation of thought and character which should accompany the Western civilisation … The obvious remedy would appear to be to educate women.”
And yet, the “liberalisation” he brought to Egypt was somehow applauded. By painting Egyptian men as barbaric, the West's favourite Arab man label, he portrayed Egyptian women as silent victims who need protection and salvation. He was also anti-suffrage, a movement to give women the right to vote in England, which should summarise everything you need to know about him. He was never a feminist in Egypt and a misogynist in Britain, he was just a misogynist who got off at the thought of controlling women.
The British then reinforced rigid gender norms through patriarchal control by working with male elites and religious authorities to maintain political order, which left personal status laws consistent, ensuring women remain under male guardianship; when pre-colonial Egyptian customs were far more flexible, but yes not liberal.
An honourable mention to Huda Sha'arawi, a powerful women who led a powerful indigenous feminist movement that stood against the occupation and wanted to reform Egypt's society on their own terms. They found success (think: 1919 Egyptian revolution) and of course British narratives found a way to erase these women's agency because crediting them is verifying these women are in fact not voiceless; ultimately cracking the infantilisation narrative colonial planners worked so hard to map and think of holistically.
Whilst the Western narrative depicted Arab women as passive victims stuck in a perpetual cycle of saving, many Eastern elements propagate an equally insidious form of control, employing patriarchal guardianship disguised as love, care, divine duty, and claiming better education than their female counterparts; belittling Arab women to those who need enlightenment, but a different nature than the West, and protection; viewing them as those who are incapable to mind themselves, consequently infantilising them.
Women's infantilisation is propagated through systems that claim to safeguard them. Guardianship laws, through governmental or household policies, require the presence of a father, brother, or husband to be present in plenty major life decisions. And whilst to date there has been progression and we cannot say it is a lived majority, it still remains a reality. The patriarchal language of “for her protection” strengthens needs for governorship of women under the bias that they can't righteously decide for themselves, further infantilising them to a binary “good girl” or “honourable women”.
And then there is marriage's association with the maturity milestone. In many parts of the region, women are still not seen as full adults until they marry, regardless of education and career. Unmarried women are called beyt-el-ayle (house of her family) instead of independent, further infantilising her. Widows and divorcee are pities or deemed “gone goods” or asked when they plan on getting married again, strengthening autonomy outside of marriage is hardly normalised and reinforcing male presence is concurrent to maturity.
On that matter and on me being treated like a taboo. Sexual ignorance's prominence, and specifically expected off women, pushes women to enter marriages with little to no knowledge of their own bodies and desire; otherelse they are seen as shameful and further solidifying marriage is maturing to an adult. A woman's sexuality is not just repressed, but kept in a childlike manner.
To be democratic, we cannot speak of that matter without addressing the aftereffect imperialism played in intensifying social and gender conservatism within the East through mindset shift and policies. This is not to say that it wasn't present before, but it did get worse.
A lot like Egypt, in Lebanon, policies changed to allow women access to education and voting. However, the French Mandate’s core legal framework is still intact and has kept sectarian personal status laws, unequal nationality laws, and weak protection against domestic violence in place. Even inheritance laws give men double what women get because “the men need more to take care of the women”.
For many countries dealing with the aftermath of colonisation (think: SWANA), especially having been so recent, there has been no reparations given to push for change. Simultaneously, this isn't to say we must not push for that change ourselves.
Where the West forcefully unveils a Muslim women, the East imposes it through moral policing. And we cannot deny the existence of the haram police on social media condemning hijab styles they don't approve off as a result of deflated male ego birthed by culture, not religion. I think of Dina Tokio and Hilam Aden. All three of these women considered Muslim icons with their hijab on, only to then be policed, condemned, and hyper-visible without having control of their voice. I also think of Iman Khelif, a woman who defied all infantilisation allegations against Arab / Muslim women, only to then be called a man in disguise. She was one women who did not fit Western and Eastern confinements of what an Arab / Muslim women should be and the social media discourse had her facing backlash from all men, but props to the Algerian government for denouncing male allegations against her!
I also think of Sex and the City 2, which takes a more explicitly condescending and Orientalist stance towards the Middle East, specifically Abu Dhabi.
The film fixates on veiling and gender segregation, portraying Arab women as oppressed and in need of "saving" by Western feminism. A climactic scene even suggests empowerment lies in rejecting traditional dress, reinforcing the white saviour narrative. The film also indulges in the aggressive Arab man trope, reducing the region to a place of hostility toward women.
The film reflects a long-standing Western habit of flattening Arab women's identity into stereotypes, erasing the region’s diversity and complexity.
Sorry SATC fans, but this was not it.
What the East does differently from the West is whilst the West uses the guise of liberalism to oppress women, the East uses fear of abstaining from conservative values, alongside love, to oppress women; both spectrums succeeding in eradicating any form of women sovereignty through their infantilisation.
They say she's voiceless, she's in need of liberation, she's oppressed, she's backward, she's traditional, she's good, she's bad, she's a victim of her culture, she's empowered but, she's uneducated, she's sheltered, she's in need of enlightenment, she's protected, she's guarded, she's exotic, she's mysterious, she's in need of saving, she's still young, she doesn't understand, and the list goes on.
But Arab women and muslim women were never monolithic. And with that, from the east to the west, let us Arab muslim women rest.
2 Seconds of Housekeeping!
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Looks like once more all evil stems from men fighting over access to women, because it seems that is what it always boils down to.
I cannot tell you how much this aligns so perfectly of my life. As an ex muslim arab women who’s completely pitied by the west but with malice intentions of them not actually caring about women like me but rather use my pain to inflict it to spread their islamaphobic propaganda’s because they can’t comprehend and indifferent between arabs and muslims. And then there’s the eastern side, completely demonising women like me and using us as an example of what a good woman of faith should not turn out like. That I’m the product of brilliant western brain washing. Instead of simply acknowledging that women like me made the decision to not submit for the most practiced religion that’s within our communities, that’s actually manufactured from it. Which comes at the consequence of being completely exiled by your own community, and the only ones left for you are your opponents.